The vision God gives is big. The doubt looms; the resources in front does not reflect that vision. I begin to be disheartened and disappointed that this seems farfetched. For one, I dreamt of one day owning my own impact investment fund, after I made it as a successful sociopreneur in my own space. The past 5 years has been a hard journey—rewarding but full of ups and downs. I started praying to God for what the next 5 years will look like. So here is what my reflection and conversation has been with God…
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The journey to our Promised land is rarely what we expect. We dream of success, promotion, and breakthrough, but when God begins the preparation process through hardship, we often resist the very thing that He uses to develop us.
1. The Paradox of Preparation
I run a team of 20 people today. One day, I do hope to run a whole investment holdings managing few different social enterprises business units that might manage 100 people under my leadership.
God cannot be mocked can He?
If today I am not the ‘leader who eats last’ and do not know how to empower my team members performance…If my emotional and energy management today is a hurdle to my team’s morale…How do I expect to one day be able to manage well the triple increase that God will give (it comes with triple stress if I cannot even manage now well)
Many of us wants success, but when God gives hardships to develop us for the character we need for that promised land of promotion or success we dreamt of, we complain. We get impatient.
Everyone wants the oil, but no one wants the crushing
Everyone wants the crown, without the cross
God cannot use you without breaking you
Our hardship is not punishment—it's preparation for the dream we pray for.
2. The Stripping Process
There’s a time I came to work pretty nasty to my team who couldn’t meet their KPIs. I was constantly angry and I didn’t know why I was such. It was when I had coffee with my female mentor (now running 50 people team) who shared she was that way too in her early days. It was her pastor who asked her, “Do you attach your identity to your business?” Then she realized it was her heart issue of arrogance. Having worked at a venture capital and such, that at her team’s failure to do simple tasks, it irritates her.
As I reflected internally, I realized too that this was my problem. I wanted financial stability and I had bet it all on this venture more than on God. When they made a mistake, In my head it becomes, “I gave up my high paying job offer for this, and this mistake will further cost me further than my goal for getting financial goals and being more successful”
It was my ego. It was my self-entitlement. It was my unspoken disappointment. This internal heart awareness brought me to be honest with God. And that’s when He begin a soul healing journey where I had to wrestle with God my need for control and trusting in God’s provision. As well as seeking alignment to what God sees—-that is often non financial impact metrics that He is using me for.
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God will break the need for validation, the fear of being alone, and the desire for control. He will strip these away:
Ego and Pride - pride cannot carry destiny
Comfort Zones - Comfort cannot birth prayers
Need for Control - Surrendering to God's timing and way
Because If you enter your season of influence still needing to be liked, you'll compromise your calling to keep the crowd. If you step into leadership still carrying offense, you'll wound the very people God sent you to heal. If you enter your breakthrough still carrying unforgiveness, bitterness will poison every blessing God gives you.
Because if you step into your calling while still craving control, you'll build your own kingdom instead of advancing God's. If you enter your season of abundance while still operating in lack mentality, you'll hoard what God meant for you to sow.
Because if you enter your promised land while still carrying victim mentality, you'll blame others for every obstacle instead of overcoming in faith. If you gain your influence while still struggling with perfectionism, you'll hide your testimony and rob others of hope.
Entitlement can't steward revival. Breakthrough without character leads to breakdown
3. The Refining Process: What God is Building
I had long prayed to God either for a Kingdom spouse or a Kingdom business holdings that give jobs to 10,000 people. And I wanted to one day preach and speak to young women in Indonesia about purity and holiness and calling. If I envision those things, I can now begin to see what trials develop:
Every delay shaped your patience
Every heartbreak built your discernment
Every prayer strengthened your faith
Every rejection increased your dependence on God
Every closed door redirected you to God's best
We need to reframe our perspectives.
God wasn't withholding—He was refining God wasn't ignoring—He was aligning you to His heart Your breakthrough is not late—it's being prepared
The anointing flows from pressure, not perfection, sis. How can you, “ Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven (Matt 5:16)”
So one day you will be able to say, “It was all God!” And take none of the credit my own.
Now, embrace the process. Sometimes it’s letting the systems you’ve build to carry you forward. It is continuing to show up where passion has dwindled. It is this very thing of faith and perseverance that God honors.
Now, celebrate small victories in growth. And stay connected to God through prayer and worship. I remember hearing God in my time of prayer, “The way you can go through this season is by spending at least 1 hour a day with me.” I ignored that and couldn’t commit to that discipline and that costed me the growth I could have had. Now, I am learning this too with you…
To know that impact is measured in the life we live and to how we are to those we come into contact with everyday. Pray for that oil of anointing to be on you by first spending your first hour of waking up in His presence.
And we then can be confident in this that awaits after the refining:
Strength to hold your breakthrough
Wisdom to steward what God gives you
Character that can handle promotion
A heart aligned with God's will, way and timing.
The ability to help others without being destroyed
Your Crushing Season Has Purpose
Sister, if you're in a crushing season right now, know that God is not punishing you—He's preparing you. Every pressure point has a purpose. Every trial has a testimony waiting on the other side.
What is God currently stripping away in your life?
How have past hardships prepared you for current blessings?
Where do you see God refining your character right now?
1 Peter 1:6-7 - "In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed."
Dear God, thank you for preparing me to be the person who can hold the platform that one day you will bring. Either it is the future family walking in righteousness, or the dream to one day mobilizing millions of capital to solve the pressing societal challenges of my generation. Every encounter now, every job you hand-deliver to my business, and every hardships are opportunities to sharpen my skills & strengthen my character for what the future holds. Thank you Jesus. Be with me, for you are strong when I am weak.
x,
T.W.
